By Nina Oshkordina
It was my first time on a plane and it is now my biggest fear. I’m expected to just sit on this uncomfy seat and do nothing for what feels like forever. My parents go on planes often for work while I stay at home. I don’t get how they do it. I guess they must really like their job.
The plane was way too crowded and I was surrounded by a bunch of people I’d never even met before. They were yelling across the whole plane in languages that I didn’t even know existed. I thought things were going to get better when they brought out the food but it turned out to be a nasty salad.
Ewwww
The only part I ate was the tomatoes which I gulped down in seconds. As if that wasn’t bad enough, when I asked the airplane person for apple juice they said they ran out. I was already having the most stressful day of my four-year-old life and now the mean airplane people decided to make it worse.
Then, the plane suddenly started to violently shake, sweeping me side to side in my seat, and knocking over my crayons. That’s when I knew what I had to do.
It was time to throw a tantrum.
I lied.
There was obviously apple juice available on an eight-hour flight. I would have served the drink of choice to the passenger if it wasn't for their rude entitled mother. Instead of saying hello to me when she first saw me, she gave me her crusty white chihuahua and told me to take care of it for the whole flight.
That poor dog was wearing a plaid bow and a black collar with the word ‘Chanel’ spelled out in rhinestones.
That was its name.
The dog’s name was Chanel. I’m not even a dog person and now I'm in charge of feeding and cleaning up its shit for eight hours. I don’t remember signing up for this.
Today was the worst day of my life.
I got put in this tiny bag and I barely had any space to move. I was also being pushed and thrown around like a garbage bag by random humans I'd never met.
I thought things weren’t going to get any worse until I got the hot brown liquid that my mom drinks every morning spilled on my favorite bow. I wish I could attack that woman but the annoying bag was stopping me.
My life is so hard.
I thought I was already at my lowest point before I got drenched in coffee. I went from making appearances on red carpets and runways to being worn by a dirty dog with coffee spilled all over me.
When I was first created for the 2008 Burberry fashion show, I loved my life and I knew that I was living the dream. I traveled all over Europe and went on so many different runways.
What I didn’t know was that I would soon retire and get sold to a random rich woman to be worn by her ratty dog. What could I possibly do to deserve this?
Today was quite a busy day for me and I was insanely exhausted because I didn’t get to rest yesterday. This is because of something called ‘Holidays’. After a few months of working or learning, humans get to have a couple of weeks off.
I hate Holidays.
I don't understand why it is constantly romanticized. It means that the loud toddlers and babies start to show up on my flights, and I can’t stand them.
When I first started working a few decades ago, I thought that they would be quiet because of their size, but I couldn’t be more wrong. They are constantly screaming and crying, sounding like dying hyenas, because of the slightest inconvenience.
What’s more irritating is that everyone keeps blaming their tantrums on me. It's always about my engines being too loud or not flying smoothly enough.
How am I supposed to control the weather that day?!