How is it that I can laugh and still feel nothing,
The extents I go to just feel something,
Silver blade draws pretty pictures,
Cut too deep you might need stitches,
Say ‘I’m fine’ it’s fun pretending,
But the pain is never ending,
I’ve always liked a masquerade,
So just like that I can persuade,
All of my so called friends,
I see the world through a blurry lens,
I go to all this trouble,
To keep living inside my bubble,
But I want someone to see,
That This ‘fake girl’ isn’t me,
I scream and yell yet I feel speechless,
I ask for help they call it weakness,
I trade my joy for my protection,
Say I’m not lost though I cannot find the direction,
No longer feel my heart of stone,
So I handle it alone,
Wear a smile while I bleed,
I’m so lonely, company I need,
Deep down I know I’m not bold,
And this world is cruel and cold,
And I am Left alone to bear the pain of my wretched and bruised heart,
Watching quiescent as my wrists become art.
The hollow auditorium of my chest,
Swoons with echoes of a heartbeat that will soon be at rest
But I am just a careless tourist here,
I feel it now, the end is near,
I’m Begging to be set free,
Can’t you see this is me,
Parading around In a mask created by those who told me I wasn’t good enough,
Hiding my tears, to pretend I’m so tough,
Smiling like I’ve never felt pain,
Distracting myself from the thoughts in my brain,
But behind the smile,
There’s a hurting heart,
Behind my laugh,
I’m falling apart.
- Actress