Schockmel Jana

I am a poet

I am a poet
But I do not want to be.

I want to be a writer.
I want to create worlds so vivid you feel like you are actually there.
You wish that you were actually there.
I want to create characters you will love and hate and feel for and feel with.
And you will read what I wrote and be amazed, amazed, amazed

But I am not the writer.
I am the reader.
I read to escape this world,
This life
Because to live this life would mean
To have to find out who I am
And acknowledge it,
And I am scared.
I am scared that
Underneath it all
I am actually a terrible person
I am a poet

I do not talk about my feelings;
I write them on a piece of paper
And I watch it burn
And I hope the thoughts die with the words.

I am a poet
Even though I do no want to be.
My friend reads what I write
And I see it on her face:
She does not understand.
She is not amazed.

I do not want to be a poet.

But I lay awake at night
And my thoughts fly around my head
Like birds,
Trying frantically to escape their cage.
I am powerless.
Before I know it
The light is on,
I have a pen in my hand,
A notebook in front of me.
The paper has cut me,
The words are bleeding onto the page.

I do not want to be a poet but
This is the only way.
The only way to stop the thoughts,
The only way to put my mind to sleep.
As soon as I am done
I close the notebook
And I never look at the words again.
I do not want to be reminded that
I am a poet
When I do not want to be.


Envoyé: 12:01 Mon, 22 January 2024 by : Schockmel Jana age : 20